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Too many compliments during Medifast?

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Is there such a thing as to many compliments? My nurse (my son is disable) and my dad are always throwing compliments at me. It makes me feel weird. I love when my friends compliment me like every other week but when it's every day I get weirded out. I've always been the fat girl. As much as I want to be the healthy girl, I think I'm stuck on my identity as the fat girl. Does that make sense? Especially makes me feel weird when my husband gives me compliments? They don't seem real.

He's told me if I lost the weight we would have the perfect marriage and have no more problems. No you're the jerk that's a real problem! Could I be scared to lose weight? Is that maybe why I keep staling?..

Comments (16)

"He's told me if I lost the weight we would have the perfect marriage and have no more problems.".

Perhaps you are afraid to find out if this is really true or not? I mean what if you still have problems after you've lost weight? I think nobody has a perfect marriage. I pray you have the courage to reach your dreams...

Comment #1

Your weight will not make or break your marriage. Sounds like you guys need some counseling. With 'support' like that no wonder you feel funny about losing weight...

Comment #2

I have to admit I bristle at the background you gave on your husband. It's the fact that he makes the relationship all your problem. The relationship takes TWO people and those people share responsibility for the health of that relationship. He CAN NOT tell you that it's all you. But your health IS all you. Do this to feel good about YOU! And love those compliments when you get them - all of them!!! Pretty soon you will have a new identity..

Comment #3

I'm sick of the everyday compliments, as well. I just don't want to be commented on, good or bad, on a constant basis. How about I just lose the weight and we all just move along like nothing has happened?.

I agree with kb1968. Your husband's comments are an awful lot of pressure to put on your weight loss, especially when it just isn't true. You know your weight isn't the only thing keeping you from the mythical perfect marriage; maybe it's time to get some counseling and say so.

Good luck to you!..

Comment #4

For many of us, there are a lot of internal issues wrapped up in our weight. It's good that you realize that weight loss won't magically make a marriage perfect. What it does do is increase your self worth and your desire to take care of yourself. You learn that you have value, and that value is not dependent upon another person. For many men, this becomes very intimidating as you no longer put them on a pedestal 24 x 7. It's possible that you are scared to peel back the layers to examine the fundamental issues in your relationship.

You are who you are whether you weigh 250 or 150. For me, I feel angry in thinking that some people might not see me as I truly am. I resent it..

My opinion on weight loss is that you have to find motivation that hinges on anyone else. It has to come from a deep desire to do something for yourself. When you put yourself above everything else in your life (for many of us, it's a new concept), you can overcome any fears of what may lie ahead as a result of losing weight. For me, it's a deep desire to be healthy as I age. I don't want to have knee replacement or hip replacement surgery. I don't want to be a diabetic.

So look inside and see if you're ready to put yourself ahead of everything else. It's hard, but you will realize that nothing else will really suffer as a result. In fact, gaining your health is a precious gift that you give to those you love...

Comment #5

Here is my problem with compliments on losing weight...if people compliment me, that means they are noticing change...which makes it all too real for me that I was big to begin with...as long as people don't notice the change, then in my mind "maybe I wasn't really that big"...so when people do compliment me, it's like "aww dang...".....

Comment #6

I am sorry that you are going through this. Now I am single but I can tell you that your husband seems shallow and very insecure and when you lose all your weight and look more fantabulous than you are, he will really have issues!! You will be receiving compliments left and right from men as well as women and what is he going to do then? No marriage is perfect and it definitely won't make it perfect if you are a size 6 or a size 26. What you need to do is realize that any crack(s) in your relationship isn't from your weight and you need to focus on YOU. You are and should be doing this program for YOU and no one else. It's for your mental and physical well being and with that being said, keep up the good work and keep pushing through!! Good luck..

Comment #7

I'm doing this for me. I want to be healthy for me and my son. I post about it some time ago. As far as my husband, he's always said that. A lot of my nurses and therapists that have seen how he treats me can't stand him. He is emotional abusive.

I asked him this summer for a separation and he told me no. He said basically "yes we have problems but once we move out from your parents and you lose weight everything will get better." Yes I realize that living with parents is hard but he was mean to me before that. For reason I rather not go into I felt I had to marry him and no I wasn't pregnant at the time. Another motivation for me to lose weight is so I can get skinny and say f%# you I'm leaving. He started treating me better and so I gave him another chance.

He rarely comes out and says I'm stupid but if I disagree with him he implies it. Can't till I'm done with school so I can move out. Thanks for letting me rant...

Comment #8

Why do you have to wait until you weigh less? If anything, his psychological/emotional abuse is going to hinder your weight loss.....

Comment #9

Cause untill I finish school I have no means to move..

Comment #10

Yeah, the compliments can be annoying especially sitting here at work everybody saying the same thing over and over again! Are you still losing weight, you are looking great!!! Sheesh!! Get over it alreaady.....!!..

Comment #11

Marie, I am sorry you are going through problems with your husband. I agree with the other posters that perhaps some counseling is in order. If he won't go with you, you should go on your own to learn how to deal with him (whether that means staying with him or leaving him)...

Comment #12

So sorry you are going through this with your husband. Recognize your own worth, and keep your eye on the prize (school). I hope you both can work it out, but if not, preserve your mental health and know you are a precious, beautiful creation! (No matter what you weigh)..

Comment #13

(((HUGS))) I am sorry your going through this. I have been there too.

As some of you may recall me posting about my husband. Very verbally abusive about my weight. Now I get, "Your too skinny". I can win-with him!.

So guess what? I DONT CARE WHAT HE SAYS ANYMORE! In one ear and out the other..

As far as people complementing you? There are trying to be encouraging. See it for what it really is. Accept it. And dont let it bug you.

I didnt have that because I lost all my weight on my "Czech-mare" trip as many of you may recall...

It was a different type of "hell"!.

Hang in there girl! YOU KEEP DOING THIS FOR YOU AND YOUR SON! I remember you posting that you needed to do this to be healthy and "around" for him.....

Comment #14

You guys live with your parents? Why do you have to wait until you finish school to move out if you want to leave him? If you have already decided that splitting up is for the best, then kick him out and stay with your parents as long as you need to (or as long as they let you)..

I know from experience that it's definitely easier said than done. But my only regrets after kicking out (and eventually divorcing) my husband of 19 years is that I didn't do it sooner...

Comment #15

This is, almost exactly to a "T" how I feel. I've been given a few compliments by people who know I'm on the program (I don't know if they can actually see a difference yet, or if they're just being supportive), and I've only told people who I feel comfortable with, and know won't judge me. This includes a few family members, a few coworkers and a handful of close friends. However, I'm almost dreading the day when someone I haven't told notices... I'm afraid of feeling embarrassed. Even though I know deep down that I'm doing a good thing for myself, you're right...

The only difference is, I don't mind the compliments from people I've told.... I feel secure enough with them to admit my faults, and accept that they are happy for me that I'm making changes. It's the people I didn't feel comfortable telling who really make me nervous...

Comment #16


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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