Robyn...Please cut yourself some slack!! Noone is perfect. What you need to do is change your focus. I know you're upset right now, but you need to start loving yourself through this journey. Ease off the pressure, girl! Use the weekdays you're successful to fuel your desire to succeed. Make plans all week for the weekends to overcome your cravings - this will give you a plan of attack when the munchies come knocking. I also think you should take time to figure out why you sabotage yourself on the weekends.
In the meantime, give yourself a chance on MF. Commit to one day at a time - one meal at a time. Tell yourself that the "cheat" foods will be there when your journey is over if you still want them in moderation. Redfine and remind yourself all day why you began the plan to begin with. Write it down. Read it.
Then read it again. Put the reason list in the bathroom, in your cabinets, in your fridge, on your fridge, in your car, at your desk. Make it a practice to remind yourself everyday how important losing the weight is to you..
I'll be thinking of you...don't give up!!..
I hear ya, Sweetie, I don't know how to fix this. I can totally relate to the binge eating thing. I haven't done it in over a year now with MF, but I can always feel it just hanging on the edge, ya know? I don't even know how to describe how I got past it. All I know is that I decided I was tired of whining about losing weight. I was tired of that terrible depression and self-loathing that comes after the binge. I knew that I had the power in me and that I needed to tap into it.
(and then I had to eat dinner, whatever, as if nothing had happened). I found the Medifast success boards and I spent two days reading EVERY one of them. I kept seeing women, some larger than I was, that had completed this journey and looked wonderful, AND I WANTED THAT. I finally decided that I was important enough to take priority in my life. No more excuses.
I couldn't blame it on any one else...I have the most wonderful supportive husband possible, who has always let me pursue any diet method I felt like trying (and believe me I have tried them all) But I always found a reason to fail. This time I said I will not stop until I am done! and even now, I am struggling with the last 15-20#. But I will not stop until I am done. It is a promise I made to myself! If you can't trust your own word, who else will believe in you?.
Suggestions? Get all that crap out of your house. That is what I had to do. My mom lives with us and I told her that any food I couldn't eat had to be kept in her room. I cannot have it in the kitchen. This is how I looked at this diet: Medifast is a prescription drug that will relieve your "symptoms" of fat. But like any other medicine, it must be taken diligently, not mixed with alcohol, or other foods that cause it not to work successfully.
That was VERY hard...I won't kid you, but you have to take one step at a time. Believe me, once you make it past one Saturday, then one Sunday, you will feel so proud of yourself that the next one will come easier..
You are not hopeless! You need to clean out your kitchen, find something to divert your attention when you are about to binge. Think of yourself as a drug addict, or alcoholic that just cannot even entertain the thought of having a little of something..
Feel free to PM me if you need any encouragement or help. Come on these boards and scream for help when you need it...there is always someone available to help. But know that no amount of wishing, praying, or eating is going to solve this. It will take work, sometimes downright sweaty DT's kind of work, but you are worth it!.
Dear Sweet Robyn ....
WOW - thanks for being so honest and transparent with us. You will get lots of advice and support from your post and I'm glad you did..
Here are a few suggestions that come to my mind -.
1 - Have you made a list of why you want to lose weight? If you have done that exercise it might be a great reminder of the principle of NOTHING tastes as good as ______________ feels. Fill in the blank with your reasons ... and you will find that to be true..
2 - Your binging on the weekends are creating a craving that makes binging the next weekend more likely. You are creating cravings in your body that store up during the week and you satisfy on the weekend..
3 - Can you identify an accountability partner? Is there someone supporting you that you can call or spend time with on the weekends that will hold you accountable to staying on plan at least for a while..
4 - When you have one of these discussions with yourself on the weekends - can you come here and write or blog or go to the chat room so that other MFers can support you rather than trying to do it on your own?.
5 - Lastly, remember your emotions (wants, desires) don't control you. You are stronger than they are ... once you get through the cravings you are creating you may find it much easier to stay on plan..
6 - Do something different next weekend than you normally do - Go out of town, go to church on Saturday night, go to a movie where you can't have a cocktail, go visit an elderly person or offer to babysit..
Ultimately YOU are the one who must decide what is most important to you. I know this lesson as I failed at it for YEARS .... I cared more about my temporary pleasure than I did about my health, my appearance and my relationships. So, I am not judging - just trying to offer what has made a difference for me..
If I can help - let me know..
How about treating the weekends as a big treat but on plan. Make the best L & G's possible or go out to dinner and have prime rib or lobster or something like that or do both...Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Switch to 4 (MF) and 2 (LG) on the weekends. Buy the best beverages for yourself. Omit water and drink wonderful teas or favorite diet sodas. Treat yourself to a coffee drink at a cafe' or a bookstore with a good book or magazine...make it a ritual.
Go garage saling or shopping at a favorite place. Plan to take a nice bath, polish your nails, pamper yourself. Get a massage. Start a new hobby, like gardening...spring/seed planting. Hope this helps.
You'll figure it out. Its great that you do well during the week. Most of us do best on a structured schedule...
Change your schedule and get out of the house. If I am idle all weekend, it is so hard. I have to keep busy, or I will find myself munching on somthing and I am not even hungry!..
Weekends are hard, no doubt. Boredom is what does me in, so I have to make sure my weekends are busy and there is no time for me to sit around thinking about food. I schedule extra exercise on the weekends, especially with my kids (now that it is getting nicer we can go out for hikes on Sunday afternoons, which my kids really enjoy).
Just get away from the temptations - and BTW, how much of that stuff can you just get out of your house altogether? You will not find a slice of white bread, any booze, candy or any baked item that is not whole grain in my house. It's much easier to resist temptation if the food is not just sitting there in your pantry, and the rest of your family really does not need any of that stuff - get some healthy snacks in your kitchen!..
I second everything Nancy said. Here's my 2 cents: It's a VERY slippery slope. That first taste of vodka sends you screaming down that hill to hell. Our food addiction is every bit as invasive as drug or alcohol addiction. When you take that first sip, or when you have that first Ritz cracker - look at yourself in the mirror and say "I am intentionally undoing all the good I did this week and I want to continue my miserable life in self-loathing." Only you can make the decision to change the course you have created. Do it for yourself - you are worth it...
I hear you!! Every Friday night Sweetie Darling and I go out to eat. We need it. I've decided to use L&G to the utmost!! When we go to Outback, it's the steakhouse salad with out the cheese and crunchies with a simple vinaigrette dressing on the side, if I"m still hungry, I ask for a side of greenbeans with out the butter. AND I have a martini and a huge glass of water with lemon and lime slices in it. One sip of martini, two sips of water. This past Friday, the waitress asked if I wanted a second, and I almost said yes like I usually do, but instead I said, "let me think about it." By the time she came back, I had drank more water and was just fine! I had not overeaten!!! When I did my food journal, I had reached 900 calories and stopped.
I didn't go down either..
I am a bit discouraged that I haven't lost anything this week, but I haven't gained!!! Yeah..
Others are right: their advise to empty out your house of useless food is a good idea. My SD loves candy. He now has to keep it in his den. Same with chips and all the other junk he can eat. I'm thrilled that Easter candy is gone. No more temptation.
I am new to this, only three weeks and I need TONS of support. I cannot believe the great people here. thank God for all you great people!!!!!.
When you feel you need help, there is someone online or a discussion board to read to keep you going..
Read the condiments and snack list an carefully place them in your plan on the weekend.
And my last advice: take it two hours at a time. And think Bob the Builder. CAN WE DO IT? YES WE CAN!!!.
Hey, what can I say...I'm a Nana!!.
Robyn, I feel your pain. Most of us got here because we just can't shut off that craving! I was really worried about the weekends, too, and here is how I get through them:.
I go out to eat one night, frequently at Applebee's where I can get one of the WW dinners and have it work for my L&G. I wear the cutest outfit I can, and now I can even wear jeans that fit, although the high waistband lets you know how long it has been since they last fit, LOL! During the day, I stay busy. Housework, shopping, yardwork, you name it, I'm doing it. I try to stay on the same food schedule that I use during the week. Now, I had a BAAADD week last week, and I felt LOUSY both physically and emotionally. As I was lying in bed, feeling ill and so disappointed in myself, I realized that this was my own doing.
Those chips did not just leap into my mouth (I'll spare you the rest of the food massacre). The thing that really mad me angry was that I had been feeling great, better than I had felt in a long, long time, and I blew it for a craving, which led to another craving, which led to an out of control food fest.
So now here I sit, getting back into ketosis, and despite the headache and the hunger, I feel good about myself again. We can do this, and we can't let food defeat us. This journey is about learning what role food plays in our lives, and developing a healthy relationship with it. I once was told that resisting a temptation is not just saying no, it is saying no over and over again. If it means that every time I go by the drawer where the graham crackers are stored at work I have to say no, then that is what I will do.
Stay tough. You can do this, but first you have to forgive yourself and remember that you are not a failure, you just stumbled...
Wow, I identify so strongly with you. I congratulate you for having the guts to get on here and admit that; I've always kept my problems secret and it's so less helpful.
YOU CAN DO IT ROBYN! This is SUCH an enlightening personal journey for all of us. I have learned so much about myself, why I do things (like binge eat), how to control it, what my triggers are, how to walk away, etc.
Here are a few points to consider..
1) Every time you overeat like that, and go off-plan, you are wasting about 30$ to 50$.
2) You are barely getting into ketosis every week, and then blowing it on the weekends. Ketosis takes 3 to 5 days to get into, so you are just hitting the BEST part.
3) Forreal, get that stuff out of the house, or figure out a way to mark it as "NOT YOURS". I visit the snackiest family in the world every weekend, and had to (this is funny) put the dog lock and chain around the snack cabinets. Now, I don't have to do that anymore, but, at the time, I felt unable to resist what was in those cabinets. Now, was the lock actually locked? No. But seeing reminded me, very visually, that THAT WAS NOT FOR ME. Every body works and thinks differently, but find out what is the thing that you can't say no to, as in, stealing or whatever.
I should post a picture, it really cracks me up how funny that cabinet looked with a big fat dog chain on it.....
4) Find a buddy, or a team. Join team rogue, they'll scare the pants off you! However you do it, find someone to be truthful with. Tell them what you are doing. Hold yourself accountable, publicly, if need be. I had a little role model who joined the plan before I did, and I would imagine her face when I would think of cheating, and couldn't do it.
5) Get a friend, or make on here on the boards. I am ultra competitive, and when I saw a coworker lose like 2, 3 pounds every week, it really inspired me to not get beat. It's almost a little but childish, but friendly competition ROCKS.
6) Maybe see a shrink or get on antidepressants or something. You've got problems bigger than just this, I think, because you say things exactly what I did. I was way embarrassed to see a shrink and fought with the idea a long time before I did, but, Robyn, you hav eto find some way to learn that YOU are the boss of YOU. not the donuts. not the weekend. not the martini.
7) Do it for the results. Where will the snack attack get you? older, fatter, another thing tried and failed. Where will sticking to plan and having some delish dbbthreads Medifast ice cream (that recipe is positively sinful.)? It'll get you to a healthy BMI, to happiness, success, being hot and proud and confident. YOU make that decision. Choose whichever way you want.
8) When you get the cravings, the urge, has it been more than three hours since your last Medifast meal? How about eating an Medifast meal instead? When I would get the hunger, I would offer myself something healthy, but never take it. That tells me it's mental, not physical hunger. I also learned about myself that "the hunger" (lol) would be more likely to come when I hadn't eaten anything in several hours. I would skip lunch, or afternoon, because "I wasn't hungry", and then, lo and behold, three hours later, *boom* shoving chips or fries in my mouth until I couldn't breathe.
9) Watch Supersize Me, or one of those movies. It just helps to realize that "food" isn't so awesome, or powerful. It's very diabollically planned to be addictive and all kinds of other awful things.
10) Send me a message. Oh god, do I understand. I feel good right now, and haven't binged in a while. I'm back in control, and I'm smiling for it. You can do it too; you just have to learn the way....
Good luck sweetie. Sorry for the novel. You just really hit a chord with me.
Great job venting your frustrations on these boards, the previous replies are all awesome tools to keep you on the Medifast path. During my first several months on Medifast I constantly reviewed the boards for advice and stories/pics of inspiration. I am a certified health coach for Take Shape for Life and constantly hear the frustration of missing an occasional cocktail, or going out to eat on weekends. These a trigger times for poor eating habits and I advise my clients especially early on in the process to avoid altogether. Just plan on eliminating alcohol until you are near your goal weight. Avoid eating out unless you have specific places that offer SAFE options.
My husband and I never strayed from a local steakhouse, where I would get the small sirloin and green beans (let the server know not to bring bread to the table) or a local seafood restaurant that I could get some broiled seafood and a salad. My favorite Medifast food is the oatmeals, so that was how I got over the carb craving and the cappuccinos were a nice/healthy substitute for my local Starbucks run (saved money, too).
The program really works if you give it 100%, but if you fall off the wagon it is just as easy to get back on. Like previous posts, get all the bad stuff out of the house. Keep your favorite Medifast meals readily available, if really hungry consider eating an additional Medifast meal. Keep frozen portion size meats readily available and I always have a big bag of frozen broccoli and green beans in my freezer at all times. Convenience is the key. Another pearl of advice, have a bar or ready to drink shake on hand at all times so you won't stray if out and about.
I wish you the best in your weight loss efforts...
I second everyone else. When we started MF, I cleared out the kitchen entirely of everything we couldn't eat. The stuff is still in the house, but it's so hard to get to that by the time I seriously consider what it will take to get a chocolate chip, or whatever, I've lot the desire.
Finally, go to Paul McKenna's website http://www.mckenna.com/ He is the I Can Make You Thin guy and his tips are incredible for dealing with cravings and the psychology of eating. At this point I don't eat what I want when I want, but I do everything else he suggests and it has made life so much easier!..
Robyn - I didn't read all of the replies you have received - but the ones I did read are excellent! I just wanted to "put it out there" and I hope you can understand that I'm trying to be helpful, not hurtful..... There are some issues with binge eating that you might not be able to control unless you talk to someone that totally understands eating disorders. I think some of us on here actually have eating disorders all of different types! I know mine was stress and emotional eating, and I'm very thankful that I was able to understand it and overcome it (so far..) I'm not afraid to say that once I am in maintenance that if I am unable to control it, I would be willing to talk to someone. I am very hopeful that I have mastered it - heck, it's been 7 months - but I also know I have an addictive personality. I'm being honest, and well, it's kind of hard to type that I might have an issue, but I am never going to be overweight again. This is a life long journey for me and I'm going to keep in touch with it.
I could be totally off base with what I am saying to you - only you know what you can and can't do...but it's just a thought...
What great advice from all of the people that responded to your post.......so many of us are in or have been in the same boat.................I feel like I get so much from reading what everyone says......I hope you can as well.................good luck!!!! Dee..
Don't feel alone - I too am battling the same sickness - it's a uncontrollable food addiction..
Last week, I ate anything that wasn't tied down, even stuff that I normally don't eat - then I feel like death and the guilt is overwhelming... it's ok - you're not alone!.
What you need is a diet buddy, someone to talk to EVERY day and to be held accountable to. I have one in Japan and she has truly saved me many time - but life, like many times, has been kicking my butt lately - then this weekend she challenged me to a 7 week NO CHEAT duel! I love a challenge and I accepted - today I am weak and would almost eat cat treats - but I AM DOING THIS!.
So I CHALLENGE YOU to a 4 week challenge - are you up for it? I will give you my e-mail address and you can write me as much as you want to - to vent - to seek encourangement - to babble about nothing special - as long as you get it out of your system, you are less apt to binge......... Trust me....
UP FOR IT??..
Check out the Wake up BED thread. it's kind of a support thread for us binge eaters. just do a search for BED...
First, RObyn, I want to point out something VERY VERY POSITIVE AND WONDERFUL! You fall off the wagon, but God bless you, even though you feel horrible, you climb back on the Medifast wagon! I think that is great, and you should give yourself a great big hug (for real) right from me. You only lose if you quit..
Second, it took a lot of courage to post this. And I congratulate you on the courage to reach out. I tend to be obsessive/depressive and I isolate. That's a killer..
Have you considered OA? I'm not a member of THAT 12 step tradition, but I am a member of Alanon and EA. I find them very helpful, and everyone there has been in a similar place..
Just a thought - it's certainly inexpensive, and you don't have to keep trying it...
Please don't give up on yourself. If you're like me, you've done that countless times. Every time I start a new diet, I tell myself that I'm going to stick with it. I AM going to succeed.
Then I end up giving in and going back to my old eating habits. So, now here I am with about 5 different sizes of clothing in my closet and I'm currently in the largest sizes. I'm unhappy with how I look & feel & I'm starting all over again.
#1 - Remain focused on your goal and what made you decide to give this losing weight thing another shot. #2 - When want to cheat on the weekend, determine if you're truly hungry or just bored... if you are truly hungry, try drinking a full glass of water. If that doesn't work, have an extra shake or some lean protein to satisfy your hunger. If you ignore your actual hunger, you will be more likely to binge later.
But, if you're just bored, get up and do something you enjoy. If you get the pleasure you crave from an activity of some sort, you may be more able to resist the temptation of seeking the kind of pleasure you are accustomed to getting from fatty and sugar-filled foods. PLUS, if the activity you choose exerts energy, you'll be burning calories at the same time!!! Double Bonus!!!!.
Good luck! We're all here to help!!!!..