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Medifast Goal Weight Dilema?

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DH and I were talking yesterday about my goal weight. He wants me to stop at 135, I want to stop at 125. He thinks 125 is going to be too skinny and he wants me to have some meat on my bones. Obviously, DH's opinion really matters to me. I want him to be happy with how I look but I also want to be happy with it. He thinks I won't be happy at 125, he says he knows I'm going to still think I'm fat and will want to go even lower.

I know I need to do what makes ME happy but DH's opinion is so important. How would you handle this? Would you just ignore your significant other's opinion or would you take it into account?..

Comments (12)

Maybe you could compromise and do 130 and plan to stay 5 lbs either side of it..

Comment #1

I touched on this on another thread when I was 180 my goal was 150 and I wasnt sure I could ever get down to that and stay there as much as I love food. However as I approached that I realized that I had set my goal too high and new goal was set at 140. Im down to 144 now and still have a hint of the spare tire that was there for the last 30 years. I feel so good being this slim now that I changed my goal to 135. I am SLOWLY starting to move to maintenance phase already, slowing down to losing 1-2 lbs a week now instead of 4-5 like I had been. I dont think I will want to go lower but not sure now.

In my case nobody is telling me Im too skinny and to be honest, I wouldnt listen to them if they did, but thats me and Im not in your position. This is one of those questions that cant be answered by others since it involves emotions and serious personal relationship issues, and we all know emotions can not be quantified like counting stacks of lumber. The more Ive tried to do that, the deeper into the muck I got <smile>. Personally, if it was a behavior that caused problems I would try and compromise, but with your weight, thats YOUR body, YOU have to live in it not anybody else, and my advice would be to do what makes you feel good about that, within reason...

Comment #2

I am going to offer the practical, scientific approach to adding information for you to consider....

How tall are you? How old are you? What is your current BMI? What would your BMI be at 135? 130? 125? Does your goal fit healthy parameters for BMI and your age/height? When was the last time you discussed your weight with your doctor? What's the doctor's opinion?.

The answers to these questions could provide you some factual guidance to keep your decision healthy and not emotion based.

I am sure your DH loves you and is concerned you may be taking it too far. If you are too thin, your immune system will suffer and that would be bad for the whole family. Maybe if you have an honest conversation with him armed with the answers to the questions above, you can both come to a healthy decision that you are both happy with. If you show him that your goal is healthy, I am sure he will support you...

Comment #3

I think it's an irrelevant conversation until you attain the first weight. You and hubby evaluate yourself at 135. If you are both happy, great. You can go to 125 if you still want to. If you are too thin at 125, you can always come back to the boards and ask for advice on how to gain 10 lbs. We'll help.



Glenn..

Comment #4

If this is the case, you may need to listen to the feedback you get at 135, even if you are feeling like you could still lose 10 more pounds at that weight...

Comment #5

I agree with glennbo. Achieve your 135 goal and then if you are still not happy with your physical appearance, or if you still feel "heavy" point it out to your DH and explain to him why you want to loose the additional weight. As long as you remain in your normal BMI range there shouldn't be any problem with this strategy...

Comment #6

Like many of us, I have lost weight before. The difference for me now is I'm doing it for ME and no one else. For me it is all about my health this time not how small I will be. So having lost 6 sizes is a bonus. Just this week I've had others tell me I could stop now. But I have 16 pounds to go for my goal.

So start to pay attention to how you feel about every aspect of you! Photo comparisons have helped me the most...

Comment #7

Sbshaw is right. Go at it from a health and practical, medical standpoint. And then don't worry about figuring it all out until you get to 135. You can't know how you will look and feel until you get there. If you have bad "fat goggles", you may want to rely on your husband and a trusted friend or family member to give you feedback when you get to 135. I did this with my husband and another good friend and they both were able to tell me when I was at a weight where I needed to go on transition.

I happened to feel good and know I looked good at that weight so it worked for me. Good luck and congratulations on your loses so far!..

Comment #8

Another thing to consider is the size clothing you are wearing and weight training to tone up. Muscle weighs much more than fat and will show a bigger number on the scale, but your body is significantly smaller when you have muscle. The bottom line is that the number on the scale is just a number. It can give some information (and validation), but the reality is that no one sees the number on the scale when you walk down the street. They see the amount of physical space your body takes up.

I know for me that when I am wearing a size 5, I am not healthy. I was that size in high school when I came down with mono and scarlet fever and nearly didn't graduate. I was that size in college when I had pre-ulcer symptoms and nearly didn't graduate. It's definitely too small for me..

Last time I did MF, I thought 130 would be my goal. However, I got too small so I quit while I was wearing size 10 because I know from previous health experiences that size 5 is too small for my body to have a healthy immune system. I got myself to a size 8 through strength training and maintained for two full summers in a bikini before I fell by the wayside with old habits and put the weight back on..

Another good thing about strength training is that muscle burns energy (calories) even while you are "veg"-ing out on the couch. Your body maintains weight easier when you have muscle mass..

I hope everything works out so that you and those you love are happy with your journey and your results...

Comment #9

Hi,.

I like the idea of the compromise, 130. I am your height (5-4") and my goal is 130. I have been in the 120's in my 20's, but most thought I looked emaciated for my frame. Not to mention, my husband likes curves, not skinnybones, so maintaining in the 130's will be my goal...

Comment #10

I think you should set your goal with the doc. Everyone has a different body type. I am 5'4" also and can't imagine how ghastly I would look at 125. Skeletal. My husband would hate it and my friends and family would worry about me..

I would also consider what size clothes you wear at those weights. How easy is it to shop for those sizes, etc. I wouldn't want to be less than a 6 for my frame.

I would also repeat the great advice about getting fit and muscular so that even if you weigh 135 it's because the additional 10 lbs is healthy muscle :-).

Overall, I don't think you'll be able to truly know until you get there. Many people who've been there before seem to say their healthy good weight finds them..

Chris..

Comment #11

I think you should do what makes you happy. Your husband doesn't have to live in your body. I am also 5'4" and have been both 135 and 125. I looked good at 135, but I looked great at 125, not at all skeletal, I still had some meat on my bones but had an admirably slim physique. However another person just said that at our height she looked too skinny at 125, so you should decide where you are comfortable and what looks and FEELS good to you (and isn't feeling good in your own skin the most important thing that needs to happen here?)..

Comment #12


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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