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I've seen this before, and I do it myself at times. Have you seen people who look at their old "fat" pictures and say, "Look at me. How horrible and disgusting I was!".

I understand the part of the mind that wants to never, ever, EVER go back there. I also understand the pain that is associated with being heavy. But sometimes when I hear that, I want to say, "But you weren't horrible or disgusting. You were a beautiful human being with lots of fat around him/her....".

I could be way off...but what are your guys' ideas about self-love of the old self? I'm not talking about acceptance of the fat, but love of the old self? I'm not sure if I'm making any sense here, but I want to be a person who looks back at those old pictures and sees more than "just a fat girl", but what a fun time I was having, the loving people and supportive people around me, and yes, the weight that I didn't know how to get off and the struggles, but not just seeing "Gross!" and bury the picture..

Does that make sense?.

I would love to practice self love of my future healthy, current not-so-healthy, and past (unhealthy) self...

Comments (14)

I know where you are coming from, I dont really have many old pics of myself, I used to delete them. I do look back on the old pics and feel accomplished, I have reached goal, gone thru transition successfully and I feel great. I sometimes remember the sadness I would get when someone would insist I pose for a picture. It reminds me of the work I have done to banish that old me and it helps keep me on course. Dont get me wrong, I am very comfortable with who I am as a person but the overweight/obese problem was not who truly myself..

Lisa..

Comment #1

I couldn't agree more. Sometimes we are our own harshest critics to a fault. I know I have a hard time looking at certain photos, but I try to remind myself that no matter where I am weight-wise, it is/was my life happiness, sorrow, love, or frustration. Whether I am healthy or overweight, those moments, those emotions captured in those photos were/are real and they shouldn't be forgotten due to my weight...

Comment #2

Yes! You summarized so well what I was wondering....thank you. Well said!..

Comment #3

May I just jump in here ? I saw this post and it really struck a chord for me !.

I have always had a hard time keeping excess weight off, but when I quit smoking, I told myself I could eat anything I wanted and ...sorta, didn't ever stop ! Packing on 7-10 lbs per year, it added up and I have to say that I almost enjoyed it - I know it was/is unhealthy and it really got totally out of hand ! But there was something nice about embodying the rich, round opulent female form...what wasn't nice was the physical discomfort and being judged by others in a negative way. I am more than glad to be shedding the excess, but I will not hate or be ashamed of my large, round self ! I agree, that is a part of my life and though it is a part I am done with, I won't try to bury it or hide it.

I like what Lisa says - " I am very comfortable with who I am as a person but the overweight/obese problem was not...truly myself " but I would change that a little bit, to say " not wholly who I am ...if that makes any sense !.

This is all very much on my mind these days, especially since my 'body image' is all out of whack ! lately I either feel like a slim girl again ( NOT !!) or still feel caught in the 'fat lady' negative image...which I'm not anymore, either !! I guess I need to work on this body image thing a bit more.

Thanks for the interesting topic, fuel for thought ! I hope others will jump in and share theirs...

Comment #4

THIS THREAD STUCK A CHORD WITH ME AS WELL. AFTER DEALING WITH WEIGHT ISSUES FOR NEARLY ALL MY LIFE. HAVING DONE NEARLY EVERY PROGRAM OUT THERE AND HAVING SOME SUCCESS HERE AND THERE. AND THEN LAST YEAR - ALMOST A YEAR AGO TO THE DAY BEING TOLD I HAD CANCER- WHEN MY SURGERY WAS OVER, I TOOK COMFORT IN EATING. EATING EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED WHEN I WANTED IT. I PACKED ON ABOUT 40LBS.

I AM WILLING TO FORGIVE MYSELF FOR MISTAKES I HAVE MADE IN THE PAST. I AM WILLING TO LOVE MYSELF ENOUGH TO TAKE GOOD CARE OF MYSELF AND LIVE FULLY. MOON..

Comment #5

There is no "old" you and "new" you..

It is all YOU...

Comment #6

Very nice topic!.

I was always the picture taker but those rare shots of me are what brought me back into reality. I remember looking at them and thinking, thats not me but it was and for me it was a waker upper. I feel like I wasted 6 years of my life by not taking care of ME. Thats how I see them, memories of someone else. It was called denial and I had to accept me before I could fix me...

Comment #7

Hey, I also see pictures of me and think back to how I use to feel inside that no one knew about. There were many times I just wanted to cry and there were times I did cry. I have had people say some very unkind things about me as I would walk by thinking I was not only fluffy but deaf. So my self image has had to have an overhaul. Yes there are days yet that I look at me and wonder how could I be the apple of God;s eye. How could He love someone like me.



As the weight comes off I am seeing the real me appear. I also know one day I will say to say good bye to the old me and say Hi to the new me as I put the old behind and begin a fresh life. It will be through God's grace that I will be able to acknowledge the new and improved model of Me..

Do have a awesome and OP day...

Comment #8

The other side of the coin to consider:.

I've seen such posts more than one time, about how fat and disgusting and repulsive someone was at their starting weight....

And those people weighed less than I did, at the time I read their post - after working my rear end off to lose more than 150 pounds..

They may not be fat, disgusting and repulsive anymore, but they could work on intelligent, thoughtful and respectful...

Comment #9

I guess it boils down to how a person feels because each one of us are different and even tho one may be smaller than us when they begin sometimes they feel that wayI guess it all begins in what we do believe..

I know as I began trying to remove weight as a child and on to adulthood. On the last plan I began the journey at 234 and lost 109.5 but I did find them. How does one feel depends on each individual. At 234 I did not even know I was fluffy but when I began this journey at 197 I felt like I was awful fluffy and being short does not help..

Great other side of the coin too..

God bless us...

Comment #10

I have always struggled with my weight and feel uncomfortable by how others judge me. Seeing them look at me or hearing them snicker is upsetting. I always think, "If they just knew me." My outside doesn't match who I am on the inside..

At 230 pounds, I moved to Germany to start graduate school. At 240, I finished my Master's, in German. At 225, I backpacked through Singapore, Malaysia and Thailand. At 235, I married my best friend. At 240+, I made friends with people I dearly love and enjoy wonderful, meaningful relationships.

I am living a life that I am proud of, but I still shy from the camera as evidence that I don't like everything about myself. I promise myself, however, that when my outside matches my inside, I will not replace their snideness with my own and loathe who I was before. Me at 253.6 pounds rocks. Me at 150 pounds will be unstoppable...

Comment #11

Its a funny thing, even after I lost the weight , I still had issues with my self image, I am working on them and I am learning from them, thats the key!! We all need to learn about ourselves and what makes us want to eat, and why we eat..

Its a strange feeling to lose the weight and still look in the mirror and not feel comfortable with what we see. I do believe we are very harsh on ourselves! Something we need to work on...

Comment #12

Lisa,.

Great point! I've heard more women (I don't know any men who have said this, sorry) who have lost weight, look great, and still 'feel' overweight. I had a friend in Japan who lost tons of weight and she still did not see the new changes in her body. She would still see herself as she was when she started. It used to frustrate me as her friend because she would say things like, "You just don't understand! I am so heavy.":|.oO(oh really I'm twice your size...der)..

I think it is true, we beat ourselves up and are our own worst enemy. If someone is disgusted with the way looked before though, wouldn't that be valid for them? Perhaps getting angry and the lack of self love is another issue and not really one that we can evaluate from our own perspective. Though we all should love ourselves first, maybe those people who have felt and feel that way, were never shown or told how to do so. I know for many of us, our weight challenges are not just physical but emotional as well. If a person is unhealthy emotionally, they will not see the good in the bad, usually. It's hard to be up when you feel down.

Sincerely,.

Christina~..

Comment #13

But I DID look disgusting. That was my main motivation - sure health is the most important, but I never saw it that way. To me, I wanted to join humanity instead of feeling subhuman..

I would never make comments that were made to me (in public by strangers), but I do think enormously fat people (the way I was) are unattractive. Now I'm between a size 14 - 16 and while I still have more pounds to lose, I look "normal" and am treated that way..

I want to stay harsh on myself and remember how horrible life was at almost 300 pounds. I don't ever want to live that way again...

Comment #14


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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