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I'm sharing this with my Medifast friends in hopes that perhaps it helps someone out or just provides some insight if anyone else is struggling and also for help with an issue I mention at the end. I'm not fishing for people to tell me everything's alright or whatever. I know I screwed up.

*.

For the last two weeks, I have been dreaming, DREAMING of off-plan food..

I am not a BLT (bites, licks, tastes) girl. I have been firmly planted inside the Medifast parameters since day one. Last night I laid in bed for two hours and thought about what I would eat if I were to binge myself silly.

I woke up this morning and it was like that hadn't happened. I was fine all day today..

I have been fighting with my mom off and on for about eight months now. My anger towards her has been at epic levels for the past 72 hours now. But tonight it kind of reached a boiling point..

First thought... "Screw it, I'm going to go have a <insert food here>.".

My next thought was, "Okay, it's not like that's going to hurt her or help me or make me any less mad." .

Those thoughts went back and forth for a while..

I went shopping. Bought some clothes in a smaller size.

Then I was out and about and got hungry..

I think I was a) upset and b) tired of having these food-obsessed thoughts. Somewhere in my mind I justified that it would be easier to have a meal, regret it, than to keep hyping up all this food in my head.

And the next thing I knew, I was in a drive-thru and then eating my stupid fast-food meal at my kitchen table.

Yes, it will make you feel gross. Yes, you will realize it is just food and not a miracle drug. It did the trick for me - all those stupid dreamy thoughts I've been having about wanting certain foods feel very stupid right now. And of course, now I have to pay for it on the scale AND I leave for Florida on Tuesday so I get to be in the clutches of first-week hell while on vacation.

I'm not glad I did it, but I'm glad to not be sitting here obsessing about food. I guess I do need everyone's help there. Maybe it won't be like that for me anymore since I realized that, yep, it's just food and it's not all I built it up to be. I don't know if my brain went there b/c I couldn't have it, or what. I have been sad and angry on various occasions since starting Medifast but tonight was the first time my brain really went there - where I tried to say "oh, you're sad, so you deserve this." But I think it was the food obsessive thoughts that ultimately led me to what happened. I was just getting so frustrated about obsessing about what I couldn't have.



Well, anyway, moving forward from here. I'm disappointed in myself but I've been one of those 100% OPers this whole time and the incident has only strengthened my determination. If you've never been off, take it from me.... stay that way..

Comments (90)

I just got in and am checking the boards. I can't believe no one has responded yet. I just have to say, live and learn. I think sometimes going off plan can actually keep us on plan. Ya know what I mean? It's not the end of the world. This is life and life is not Medifast forever.

and...........if it makes you fell better... today I went off plan too. I'm not beating myself up. I had a great time today and tomorrow starts again. God willing.



Comment #1

Wow, way to verbalize! At least now you know how it makes you feel. Get back OP, stay there, and have a great vaca, knowing the yuckiness is going to go away soon and you will be a happier, healthier person.

If you don't know how it feels to fall, then flying is nothing..

Comment #2

The true test of our mettle is how we recover from an off plan episode. Do we allow that 'all or nothing' mentality to kick back in & keep us off plan? Or do we get right back OP & learn from the mistake? Sooner or later, we will all face a situation like this....whether we're in the 5/1 phase, the Transition phase or the Maintenance phase of the program. It's gonna happen. When we have a plan in place for how to recover, that's when we MAKE this lifestyle change permanent. You CAN do it....allow yourself no other option.

Have a wonderful vacation & be safe my friend..

Hugs.

Chris.

Comment #3

First, congrats on owning up to what you did and also for buying small clothes!.

It is much easier to obsess about food than obsess about how a relationship in your life is hurting. Its an escape from reality. Then it makes everything sooo much better (temporarily) to squash all those thoughts with a big bag of greasy fast food. The idea of food is always so much more yummy than what we actually get. If it happens again you could always vent here first about your food fantasies, cuz saying them "out loud" can help bring you back down to Earth.

Good luck on vacation, just because you overate doesn't mean you have to let all heck break loose on the trip. Focus on having an awesome time, staying op and releasing all that stress!.

Comment #4

Well, now you know and as upset as you seem to be about it, I'm confident that you'll remember this next time there is an overwhelming temptation. I hope you have a great vacation! Drink lots of water and get back on the horse..

Comment #5

(((((((((((((Sarah-Anne))))))))))) I am sorry your having a rough day! Good for you to come here and share/bleed/confess/be accountable for your "episode" today.

It sounds like you have really thought about why it happened and maybe you can think of some really good things to do different should you "get in that place" again. Your conclusion is correct, the "drive thru" isnt worth it! .

None of us are perfect. We all fall short of the glory...but we perservere and move on. That is what it sounds like your doing, which IS perfect!!!! .

Like Dr A says in his book, "Progress, not perfection"! Sounds like your making some progress-you learned a lesson tonight. I dont think you will forget it either! .

Your back OP, that is what is important. Have a great vacation and keep some Medifast in your purse AT ALL TIMES!!!!.

Comment #6

I completely understand. As I type this, I am SUPER angry, frustrated, and emotionally drained. I was JUST now staring at a loaf of bread and thinking how good a sandwich would taste. Your post had great timing (not that it's about me) so, I am thankful. All the best to you on your journey back OP.... I hope the first week is not too painful..

Take care..

Leslie.

Comment #7

OMG! I'm so glad I read this when I got home from shopping! I drove past my fav burger place (Burgerville - hell yeah!) and was sooooo thinking how great one of their little burgers would taste right then. I'm so glad I didn't even consider it after reading your post..

I'm sorry you are having a rough time with your mom. Moms! I like your attitude about getting back OP and that you now are more determined than ever because of it!.

So ONE good thing came out of it (((SARAH))).

Comment #8

The Burgerville on the right hand side as your driving from Tanasbourne Mall on your way home?? The one with fresh strawberry shortcake TO DIE FOR, Burgerville? OMG! Now YOUR IN TROUBLE MISSY! LOL!!.

NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS THIN FEELS! Thats our mantra and we are STICKIN to it!.

Comment #9

Yep, that's the one I LOVE BURGERVILLE!!! I love their little cheeseburgs with that special sauce and the Mocha Shakes! TO DIE FOR!!! And their fries are the best too! OMG. BV! That is the only "place" I've craved since starting Medifast and thank God it was only one day. Another time I craved garlic bread for no good reason. Thank God the cravings passed! And I soooooo wanted to go to BV, but I didn't.

If I ate BV right now, I would be in the bathroom all night! hahahhaha!.

Comment #10

I havent really had any cravings. Weird, but oh so thankful! I feel for those who do. But just remember, we have a choice. We choose to stay OP and we are bigger than the food!.

Comment #11

Yes, it is all about choices I just had those two cravings. Now I actually crave Medifast food! Like soft serve or whatever. hahaha.

Comment #12

I vote with the thought that says that this episode can make you far stronger..

It sounds like you've worked through it in your mind, and I have every faith in you and your resolve, you will recover from this and keep heading down the 100's and to goal..

This is the reality of ife, things happen, we make mistakes, but it's how we recover and head forwards that is important. You can't change what is now behind you, but you can learn from it, and move on again..

Comment #13

That's where I know I've grown in the past 12 weeks because before I would have thrown in the towel right away but I'm just moving forward like it didn't even happen. Except that I know it did happen so I'm really going to have to watch myself when I get in a vulnerable state of mind..

Comment #14

SO, SO true, all of it!.

Everything I hyped my meal up to be in my head was nowhere near the reality of what it actually was..

Everyone... thank you so much for your support. It really means a lot!.

Comment #15

I just watched an Oprah show from earlier in the week and she was disscusing a book, WOmen, Food and God (I think that is the name). THe stuff they talked about in the book was what seems to have happened to you. We turn to food for comfort and end up feeling worse than we did before we ate. SOunds like an interesting book..

Comment #16

Hey sarah-anne,.

I just woke up and see this Bummer! I knew you'd been having a rough time lately and I'm sorry to hear about what happened! Set up a plan so that if you're feeling like you're going to crack you can get in touch somehow. At this point it's less about what you've done but what you'll do in the future. You can do this!!.

Comment #17

What she said. Any feelings of guilt at this point are just you punishing yourself more than necessary. It is self-inflicted pain. Release it. Today is another day..

Comment #18

I just got in and am checking the boards. I can't believe no one has responded yet. I just have to say, live and learn. I think sometimes going off plan can actually keep us on plan. Ya know what I mean? It's not the end of the world. This is life and life is not Medifast forever.

And...........if it makes you fell better... today I went off plan too. I'm not beating myself up. I had a great time today and tomorrow starts again. God willing..

Comment #19

Wow, way to verbalize! At least now you know how it makes you feel. Get back OP, stay there, and have a great vaca, knowing the yuckiness is going to go away soon and you will be a happier, healthier person..

If you don't know how it feels to fall, then flying is nothing...

Comment #20

The true test of our mettle is how we recover from an off plan episode. Do we allow that 'all or nothing' mentality to kick back in & keep us off plan? Or do we get right back OP & learn from the mistake? Sooner or later, we will all face a situation like this....whether we're in the 5/1 phase, the Transition phase or the Maintenance phase of the program. It's gonna happen. When we have a plan in place for how to recover, that's when we MAKE this lifestyle change permanent. You CAN do it....allow yourself no other option..

Have a wonderful vacation & be safe my friend..

Hugs.

Chris..

Comment #21

First, congrats on owning up to what you did and also for buying small clothes!.

It is much easier to obsess about food than obsess about how a relationship in your life is hurting. Its an escape from reality. Then it makes everything sooo much better (temporarily) to squash all those thoughts with a big bag of greasy fast food. The idea of food is always so much more yummy than what we actually get. If it happens again you could always vent here first about your food fantasies, cuz saying them "out loud" can help bring you back down to Earth..

Good luck on vacation, just because you overate doesn't mean you have to let all heck break loose on the trip. Focus on having an awesome time, staying op and releasing all that stress!..

Comment #22

Well, now you know and as upset as you seem to be about it, I'm confident that you'll remember this next time there is an overwhelming temptation. I hope you have a great vacation! Drink lots of water and get back on the horse...

Comment #23

(((((((((((((Sarah-Anne))))))))))) I am sorry your having a rough day! Good for you to come here and share/bleed/confess/be accountable for your "episode" today..

It sounds like you have really thought about why it happened and maybe you can think of some really good things to do different should you "get in that place" again. Your conclusion is correct, the "drive thru" isnt worth it!.

None of us are perfect. We all fall short of the glory...but we perservere and move on. That is what it sounds like your doing, which IS perfect!!!!.

Like Dr A says in his book, "Progress, not perfection"! Sounds like your making some progress-you learned a lesson tonight. I dont think you will forget it either!.

Your back OP, that is what is important. Have a great vacation and keep some Medifast in your purse AT ALL TIMES!!!!..

Comment #24

I completely understand. As I type this, I am SUPER angry, frustrated, and emotionally drained. I was JUST now staring at a loaf of bread and thinking how good a sandwich would taste. Your post had great timing (not that it's about me) so, I am thankful. All the best to you on your journey back OP.... I hope the first week is not too painful..

Take care..

Leslie..

Comment #25

OMG! I'm so glad I read this when I got home from shopping! I drove past my fav burger place (Burgerville - hell yeah!) and was sooooo thinking how great one of their little burgers would taste right then. I'm so glad I didn't even consider it after reading your post..

I'm sorry you are having a rough time with your mom. Moms! I like your attitude about getting back OP and that you now are more determined than ever because of it!.

So ONE good thing came out of it (((SARAH)))..

Comment #26

The Burgerville on the right hand side as your driving from Tanasbourne Mall on your way home?? The one with fresh strawberry shortcake TO DIE FOR, Burgerville? OMG! Now YOUR IN TROUBLE MISSY! LOL!!.

NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS THIN FEELS! Thats our mantra and we are STICKIN to it!..

Comment #27

Yep, that's the one I LOVE BURGERVILLE!!! I love their little cheeseburgs with that special sauce and the Mocha Shakes! TO DIE FOR!!! And their fries are the best too! OMG. BV! That is the only "place" I've craved since starting Medifast and thank God it was only one day. Another time I craved garlic bread for no good reason. Thank God the cravings passed! And I soooooo wanted to go to BV, but I didn't..

If I ate BV right now, I would be in the bathroom all night! hahahhaha!..

Comment #28

I havent really had any cravings. Weird, but oh so thankful! I feel for those who do. But just remember, we have a choice. We choose to stay OP and we are bigger than the food!..

Comment #29

Yes, it is all about choices I just had those two cravings. Now I actually crave Medifast food! Like soft serve or whatever. hahaha..

Comment #30

I vote with the thought that says that this episode can make you far stronger..

It sounds like you've worked through it in your mind, and I have every faith in you and your resolve, you will recover from this and keep heading down the 100's and to goal..

This is the reality of ife, things happen, we make mistakes, but it's how we recover and head forwards that is important. You can't change what is now behind you, but you can learn from it, and move on again...

Comment #31

That's where I know I've grown in the past 12 weeks because before I would have thrown in the towel right away but I'm just moving forward like it didn't even happen. Except that I know it did happen so I'm really going to have to watch myself when I get in a vulnerable state of mind...

Comment #32

SO, SO true, all of it!.

Everything I hyped my meal up to be in my head was nowhere near the reality of what it actually was..

Everyone... thank you so much for your support. It really means a lot!..

Comment #33

I just watched an Oprah show from earlier in the week and she was disscusing a book, WOmen, Food and God (I think that is the name). THe stuff they talked about in the book was what seems to have happened to you. We turn to food for comfort and end up feeling worse than we did before we ate. SOunds like an interesting book...

Comment #34

Hey sarah-anne,.

I just woke up and see this Bummer! I knew you'd been having a rough time lately and I'm sorry to hear about what happened! Set up a plan so that if you're feeling like you're going to crack you can get in touch somehow. At this point it's less about what you've done but what you'll do in the future. You can do this!!..

Comment #35

What she said. Any feelings of guilt at this point are just you punishing yourself more than necessary. It is self-inflicted pain. Release it. Today is another day...

Comment #36

Wow, way to verbalize! At least now you know how it makes you feel. Get back OP, stay there, and have a great vaca, knowing the yuckiness is going to go away soon and you will be a happier, healthier person.

If you don't know how it feels to fall, then flying is nothing...

Comment #37

The true test of our mettle is how we recover from an off plan episode. Do we allow that 'all or nothing' mentality to kick back in & keep us off plan? Or do we get right back OP & learn from the mistake? Sooner or later, we will all face a situation like this....whether we're in the 5/1 phase, the Transition phase or the Maintenance phase of the program. It's gonna happen. When we have a plan in place for how to recover, that's when we MAKE this lifestyle change permanent. You CAN do it....allow yourself no other option.

Have a wonderful vacation & be safe my friend..

Hugs.

Chris..

Comment #38

First, congrats on owning up to what you did and also for buying small clothes!.

It is much easier to obsess about food than obsess about how a relationship in your life is hurting. Its an escape from reality. Then it makes everything sooo much better (temporarily) to squash all those thoughts with a big bag of greasy fast food. The idea of food is always so much more yummy than what we actually get. If it happens again you could always vent here first about your food fantasies, cuz saying them "out loud" can help bring you back down to Earth.

Good luck on vacation, just because you overate doesn't mean you have to let all heck break loose on the trip. Focus on having an awesome time, staying op and releasing all that stress!..

Comment #39

(((((((((((((Sarah-Anne))))))))))) I am sorry your having a rough day! Good for you to come here and share/bleed/confess/be accountable for your "episode" today.

It sounds like you have really thought about why it happened and maybe you can think of some really good things to do different should you "get in that place" again. Your conclusion is correct, the "drive thru" isnt worth it!.

None of us are perfect. We all fall short of the glory...but we perservere and move on. That is what it sounds like your doing, which IS perfect!!!!.

Like Dr A says in his book, "Progress, not perfection"! Sounds like your making some progress-you learned a lesson tonight. I dont think you will forget it either!.

Your back OP, that is what is important. Have a great vacation and keep some Medifast in your purse AT ALL TIMES!!!!..

Comment #40

Yep, that's the one I LOVE BURGERVILLE!!! I love their little cheeseburgs with that special sauce and the Mocha Shakes! TO DIE FOR!!! And their fries are the best too! OMG. BV! That is the only "place" I've craved since starting Medifast and thank God it was only one day. Another time I craved garlic bread for no good reason. Thank God the cravings passed! And I soooooo wanted to go to BV, but I didn't.

If I ate BV right now, I would be in the bathroom all night! hahahhaha!..

Comment #41


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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